See what I did there? The golden rule is something we talk about in my kindergarten classroom regularly. We also talk about how if we are treating others with the kindness and respect they deserve, we owe it to ourselves to treat our own selves with that same decency. Human beings have an incredible capacity to be good and loving people and I think sometimes those people who treat others the best, can be the hardest on themselves. I invite you to question your own inner dialogue, and your own actions towards yourself. Ask yourself whether you would say/do the same things you do to yourself to those who you love most. When I was at my sickest with anorexia and in my lowest place I would never for a second have treated someone else, like my mom, the way that I was treating myself. I would have never starved her, over exercised her, or told her that she wasn’t “enough” in any way. The thought alone is heartbreaking. Had I worked towards treating myself with the same compassion and acceptance that I hope to treat those I love, I would have been a lot better off. Even now as I navigate the land of recovery I still require reminders from time to time to be gentler with myself. Whether it is working myself too hard, pressuring myself to do something, or creating expectations for myself that are too high (among other things!). I think the inner dialogue sounds different for each of us depending on our struggles, but the conversation itself is similar. It is judge-y and unkind more likely than not. When you catch yourself in one of those moments I hope that you will question this thinking and try to treat yourself the way you know that you would treat someone else. This is something that we can do anywhere, any time, and it doesn’t cost a thing. I think the payback will create a richness that feels and looks great on all of us.
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Please see the link below to read about my descent into orthorexia and anorexia, and to see a glimpse into my journey towards recovery!
Thank you to Erin Bried at SELF Magazine for an amazing interview. She is a truly beautiful writer, and woman. http://www.self.com/life/health/2015/03/care-too-much-about-healthy-eating/ Hope that you enjoy this article! I am so grateful to have had this opportunity. In this age of seemingly obsessional conversations about food and body size it is sometimes hard to interrupt the words and thoughts racing around us in regard to what we “should” look like or how we “should” be with our own body. The construct of normative discontent, or the idea that we all sometimes look at our bodies in a negative way, or have moments of judgment towards our body that are unkind is (unfortunately) a pretty typical experience. The divergence from typical to atypical occurs when these thoughts become nonstop, seemingly impossible to silence, or begin to inform the choices we make in regards to food and exercise. Experiencing moments of body dissatisfaction is much more manageable than facing constant scrutiny that is unrelenting. Most of us at some point in our journey through this life can recall moments of negative self talk towards ourselves.
As I approach the 7-year mark in my recovery from anorexia and orthorexia it is still just as important today that I monitor these thoughts closely. In my recovery acting on these thoughts is not an option, as engaging in these thoughts can become a very slippery slope. I must separate myself from these thoughts to reduce the risk of acting on them. Sometimes that means walking away from a mirror or a person (!), changing my clothes, or stopping what I am doing and starting an entirely new task. Interrupting the thought is the first step to freeing yourself from the spiral and discovering the grace that comes from creating space from negativity. This space then seeps into all of the other parts of our life and allows the positive aspects of the world around us to infiltrate and act as an arsenal of protection from negative thought patterns. Whether you are a person who has ever struggled with food, exercise, or body image or not I think that this way of thinking can be helpful. Distancing ourselves from negative energy and finding the joy that comes from this space applies to everyone. The same applies to conversations with others. Use your power to inspire others to flip the script on how they talk, act, and treat their bodies (and souls). You never know who might benefit greatly from the light you share… Check out this interview from National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2015 in Reno, Nevada.
http://www.knewsreno.com/episode/national-eating-disorder-week-with-rachel-levine-february-2015/ I think that one of the most beautifully vulnerable things that we can do in this life is share our story. These parts of our self that belong so intimately to us, yet in some way deserve to be heard by others. We all have a story and this is something that connects each of us no matter what we look like or what our identity might be. I was approached by SELF-Magazine this past summer and asked to share my story of living through an eating disorder, and then my journey to recovery. This of course was an incredible opportunity and one that I am grateful for, but also one wrought with anxiety and fear. My friends and family all know about this part of my life but sharing with a major magazine meant a much larger audience would be privy to the ins and outs of my disease. This article dives head first into a dark part of my life that I generally have reserved to sharing with close loved ones or fellow sufferers. As the release date nears I find myself feeling both excited and nervous. Regardless of the ebb and flow of my emotions around the article one thing remains true: sharing this with the world is authentically sharing my self and lifting the veil on this part of my life unapologetically. Eating disorders like all mental health illnesses live in a world of stigma and misconception and I am proud to send the message that I will not keep this part of myself in a dark corner of the room, I will put it out into the light where the rest of me lives. There is a reclaiming of power that occurs when we share our true selves and refuse to be made smaller by what has happened to us. Through moving through vulnerability and fear like water we are able to blossom into an even more powerful and brave version of our self. Thank you for joining me on this part of my journey and stay tuned as I (attempt to) learn how to navigate the world of blogging and connecting through this website!
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I am a woman in recovery from an eating disorder, an educator, and an overall joyful lady.Archives
June 2017
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